Shaun Udal has mixed memories of the explosion of the T20, then known as the Twenty20 Cup. In June, he appeared in the Hampshire Hawks’ first match against the Sussex Sharks in a sun-drenched Rose Bowl. “We were sitting in a dugout wondering if this was going to be a new dawn for cricket,” he recalls.
Now easy to forget, but those early days of the format were full of innovations, but compared to the retinal glare of the Indian Premier League, the best of the worlds of now feels decidedly parochial. Picturesque, even. Udal remembers watching the Hawks’ opening pair, James Hamblin and Derek Kenway, stride towards the middle batting pioneers in black cricket attire with charcoal piping. “Most of us thought it could be a hit and a giggle in a few years,” he says.
Five years after, Udal had his best hours on a cricket field on the same field, which is no small feat for a man who pocketed Sachin Tendulkar as part of the four-on-14 victory and led England to a historic test victory-match. During a Rocking Rose Bowl on the day of the T20 final, when Middlesex won the title against Kent in a last-ball thriller, Udal played a big role, as His rotation both highly effective as well as highly effective drove his team to their first silver piece in 15 years.
The 38-year-old Udal had apparently retired from first-class cricket at the end of the season and, after two decades in Hampshire, happy years alongside Robin Smith, David Gower, Malcolm Marshall and Shane Warne, had hung up his bowling boots. However, a few months after, John Emburey – then the director of cricket at Middlesex–tried to get him to return for one last whirlwind. Udal signed a two-year contract, in which he became the captain of the club, before finally retiring. This last season, for the first time, he noticed that something was wrong
“In the last half of the season with Middlesex, I felt like I had no control of the ball,” Udal says. “It came out from different angles. He didn’t do what I wanted him to do. I had never had that before.”Other worrying symptoms followed. “I had pain on the right side and in the arm, trembling and loss of grip with my fingers.”
The years after retirement were difficult, and Udal felt increasingly anxious and adrift. Simple tasks have become insurmountable. “Tying shoelaces or making buttons became a big and stressful thing, I knew something was wrong.”He fell down a flight of stairs in early and had to undergo an examination at a local medical center. The following month, a letter landed on Udal’s doormat confirming that he had Parkinson’s health issue.
The lockdown bit a few months after. Udal lost his mother to the virus, his brother then died completely unexpectedly. “There were dark days, I promise you, the containment was terrible,” he says. “I lost my mother and brother and spent 14 weeks without treatment.”
Udal admits that he had heartbreaking thoughts during this time and that the tone of some of his social media posts caused real concern. He credits the support of his family and friends, his local cricket club and his former teammates for saving his life. He also points out the “incredible” trust efforts of professional cricketers, which, among other things, financially donated to the fact that he was able to see a consultant for a period of 20 weeks. “I just poured my heart and they listened. This is one of the main reasons why I feel a little superior.”
Another person guided Udal through some of his darkest moments: Hampshire’s former teammate Warne. “Shane was like that, always there for you,” Udal recalls of the legendary spin launcher. “No matter what he was wearing, he would make an effort. He called me out of the sapphire and I told him how I was feeling, and he immediately came back with “Shaggy, you’ll make it, we’ll have a few drinks when we come out on the other side.”A lot of calls during the lockdown were a real ballast. “In the dark, Shane always provided the light.”
Warne’s gone was another hammer blow for Udal. “I didn’t believe it and I still don’t really believe it. This man seemed invincible. I can’t find out he’s gone.”Udal is still plagued by grief and is also facing the symptoms of his condition. Sometimes he posts videos on social media tirelessly showing the reality of living with Parkinson’s to show others who are suffering “that they are not alone”.
